Why, yes... I'm writing this almost a month after my actual birthday but better late then never, I guess. (Although I still can't believe it's been slightly less than a month after I turned 28; time passes differently when you're stuck inside for 5+ months). My birthday has always been my favorite day of the year, ever since I was a kid, It's a day where people celebrate me and how much joy I bring into their lives – kidding!, that sounded way too self-centered, even for me. It's mostly just a day where I get to celebrate myself and how much I've changed and hopefully learned in the past 365 days.
Every year I plan a birthday trip, whether it's NYC or somewhere slightly less fancy, I try to give myself the chance of breaking free from my routine for a few days. This year though "breaking free from my routine" was taken to a whole other level, because, like many other humans around the world, I have been staying home in an attempt to a) not get Covid, and b) "flatten the curve" (although thanks to Mexican health authorities and the general incompetence of my federal government, that's not working out quite as planned).
In lieu of a trip this year, I got to spend time with my parents – something I've been doing a lot of since March – I got to keep working on my book (yes, I'm trying to write a book. It's not as easy as you'd think) and actually get myself lost in one of the many novels that had been collecting dust in my nightstand drawer since January. This year there was no dinner at a fancy restaurant, crazy bar-hopping night that ended with me drinking a Whataburger milkshake in a limo, or brunch at my favorite Jewish deli in NYC, but there was still a lot of time for myself: to relax, to think about things I don't usually allow myself to think about and to figure out what my next step post-covid will be.
I decided to write down a list, because I love making lists, of things I've learned in the months leading up to my covidian birthday. In no particular order of importance, here you go...
Life-lessons learned while stuck inside while there's a killer virus outside.
Good friends will have your back even when you don't ask them to.
My body "type" and size do not define how much love and respect I deserve.
Editing photos to post on social media does more bad than good - avoid it at all costs.
Spend time with your parents, even if y'all are just in the kitchen sharing dumb TikToks and having quesadillas.
Some people are not worth you spending your time, energy and mental health on them.
Don't ignore red flags, of any kind, in any situation.
Women like sex. Women masturbate. Women like to have orgasms. It's not a bad thing, it's just a fact of life. There is no shame in sex.
Even in the year 2020, feminism is still very much needed.
Spending a little effort on the way you look (dressing up, doing your hair and putting make-up on) will do wonders to brighten up your mood, even if just a little bit.
Your problems, issues and demons will follow you wherever you go unless you learn to fight then and sometimes even coexist with them in a healthy way.
Don't text your ex looking for "closure", whatever you're looking for will never happen. "Closure" is simply realizing things are over and done with.
Black Lives Matter – in the US, in Mexico, in Italy and everywhere – and anyone in any sort of position of privilege should do whatever is in their power to bring light to this. This applies to pretty much any minority or "vulnerable" group in any society.
Getting flowers is still one of my favorite things ever.
I am Jewish enough, and I don't need a rabbi to accept my Jewishness in order for it to be true. Still, at some point I do want to go through conversion, though it's not a priority at the moment.
It's actually okay to not know what the fuck you're doing. No one really knows, we just fake it and hope to somehow make it.
Social media can be terrible for someone's mental health, but it also has the power to create beautiful communities and friendships that would otherwise be impossible.
Pick your battles. Not every fight is worth fighting just for the sake of winning or being right.
Don't ignore your mental health, it's just as important as your physical health.
Sometimes a "treat yourself" moment is all you need to brighten up a bad day. Whether it's buying a pair of fuzzy socks, getting a haircut for the first time in months or getting a full-fat, full-sugar latté. small things matter.
Self-love is the best form of romance and it should be everyone's relationship goals.
Your body is not a sin, it's not wrong, it's not flawed. Your body is art in the making.
The secret to getting what you want in life is simply to ask for it. Ask a lot and in different ways, but don't stop until you get it.
I wanted to do 28 because well I turned 28, but that's as far as I got. Maybe I'll update this if I can come up with more, but for now that's it... Stay at home, wear a mask.
Xo,
C.